Tactical Skill
by Beckswim21
Summary: First Attempt. Story brings a new Agent into the team, and the typical shake-ups might just happen along the way. She has some special talents and will introduce her own back story along the way. Rated M for later chapters...hopefully.
1. Chapter 1: Beginning

Hi All,

This will be my first ever attempt at writing for this so I hope it is alright and you all can enjoy it. I would really appreciate any feedback you have.

Of course, I do not own Criminal Minds, however I do own my character additions and plot lines.

Thank you!

 **Chapter 1: Beginning**

'Deep breath, you can do it' I thought to myself…

It was about to be my first day at my new position at the BAU and to say I was terrified was an understatement. Sure I had been a part of the FBI for a few years now but that was in a tactical division where all I had to worry about was taking down my opponent in the most efficient way possible. This was something completely different, this was my version of walking into the lion's den.

I stepped off of the elevator, thinking to myself 'so it begins'.

"Pleasure to see you again Agent Paxton Harlow." Hotchner greeted her. "The team is anxious to meet you, however much of the meeting will happen on our way to the new case that just came it. If you will follow me, we can get you caught up."

As I walked into the room, I could immediately feel 5 pair of eyes staring at me. 'This isn't awkward at all...', but wait there is someone missing from the room I thought to myself as I went through the faces. Agent Rossi, Technical Analysis Garcia, Dr. Blake, Agent Jareau, and Agent Morgan were all present but wasn't there also a Dr. Reid? As the thought went through my mind the young doctor walked in the door. He apologized to Hotchner, I didn't catch the reason though because something was so distracting about him.

Agent Hotchner introduced me then. "Team, I would like you to meet our newest member, Agent Paxton Harlow. She is not new to the FBI, but she will now be joining us. She has recently completed her doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology. She will be a great assist to the team, please help her get used to the new surroundings."

"Alright, not to distract from the getting to know you bit but we do have a new case. Please to meet you though Paxton" winked Garcia. "There has been a string of murders across the Jackson, Mississippi area. There have been four female bodies, all with a clean cut to the throat and found sitting on a park bench. The bodies were found two days apart, with no DNA evidence on them" Garcia indicated without looking at the gruesome photos.

"Wheels up in 30 minutes, we need to get ahead of this. We will discuss more on the plane" Hotchner said as he exited the room.

"Nice to meet you Paxton, I am Derek and this over here is Garcia. If you need anything just let us know. The first few days will be a little rough trying to fit in and find your place within the team but don't let that shake you" he said with a smile. Garcia just waved and they both headed out the door.

"Paxton Harlow correct?" Rossi asked curiously.

"Yes, that's right." I indicated back.

"I heard about you in the tactical division, you are quite the fighter if I have heard correctly. I wouldn't be surprised if you could give Morgan a run for his money, although he may just underestimate you by your size."

"That's part of my advantage, everyone underestimates me because of my size" I said chuckling.

With that Rossi smiled, laughed a bit, and said he would see me on the plane.

JJ and Blake were standing nearby and simply gave me a hello, and said they would speak more with me on the plane.

I looked up and saw that Dr. Spencer Reid was staring at me, I hadn't noticed he was before but I didn't have time to stop and talk to him. I had to get my go-bag and get to the plane, so instead I gave him a smile and with that left the room.

(Spencer's POV)

Why can I not stop staring at this girl, she is just like any other team member. Although, for some reason she wasn't registering in Spencer's mind like another team member but something else entirely. The only issue was he wasn't sure what that other thing was.

She was seemingly so small, how was she tactical division he thought to himself. He studied her more. She must be only 5'2" in height, maybe 115 in weight and if she was tactical that was mostly muscle. He went back up to her face, she looked young, younger than him. Maybe 26 years-old. She had delicate features overall, yet her cheekbones came out, giving her face a regale look and the purple under her eyes indicated she doesn't sleep much. Oh, and those eyes how unique they were with a grey look. It complimented her red hair, that hair which immediately caught his attention. She was something to behold and he did not know what he thought of her.

Just as he was for lack of a better word appraising her, she looked right at him. He could feel the heat slowly creeping up to him cheeks and then she smiled, exiting the room.

He let out a huge sigh of relief, that was a close one. Now, to go grab his go-bag and get to the plane. There was work to be done and he would no longer be distracted by his co-worker. 'How ridiculous', he thought.


	2. Chapter 2: Plane Ride

Chapter 2: Plane Ride

"They've had another body. Female, late 20's found on a park bench with her throat cleanly cut. When we land I would like Rossi, Reid and Harlow to go to the new scene and see what you guys can find. JJ and Morgan go speak to the families see what information you can find from them, Blake and I will go to the police station and see what I can gather from their information. Call if you find anything and meet back up at the station when you all are done, for now try to get some rest. We will hit the ground running when we arrive in an hour." With that Hotchner went back to his tablet and looked back over the case details.

I sat there examining each picture of the females… girls really. Sitting on the park benches, they seemed so innocent, so perfect in some way. That they were just too young to be taken in this cruel way. They didn't have any other bruising on their bodies and they were not sexually assaulted, a very interesting thing. Why would they be murdered in such a way without any other harm done to them?

My mind kept spinning as I heard murmurs around me. They became a bit louder and that is when I realized it was JJ addressing me, "Paxton, what are you looking? You looked like you are going to burn a hole through your tablet with that death glare."

I chuckled a bit, wasn't the first time that my resting bitch face got me questions. "I was just going over each girl, how innocent they looked overall, and how they had no other harm besides their throat slit. Something just doesn't seem to fit if it is a male killer, it has to be a female with the amount of care done to the bodies."

"That could make sense but throat cutting is messy, why would a female do that?" JJ said.

"Maybe it symbolizes something the killer has lost, or she needs to see that gruesomeness to ease the pain." I stated while deep in thought looking over the images again.

Wanting to clear my head of these images I looked up and found Spencer Reid. I can't say why my eyes were drawn to him but they were, and they drank him in. Sure, he was rather geeky in appearance but that was why I think I enjoyed looking at him so much. He was tall, lanky and had the most handsome face. What was I doing? I was staring at a co-worker thinking that he was handsome, this was not appropriate.

Spencer's POV

I was deeply engrossed in reading through the file, including witness accounts and family statements when I heard Paxton thoughts on who the murderer may be. I did not look up, but listen closely and started to think on her theory, it was a good one. One that may lead into a possible profile.

I could feel her eyes on me, I didn't look up though. For some reason I really liked her eyes looking me over. It made me feel special if only for a few minutes and for that I was grateful. It seemed though that as soon as her eyes were on me they left just as quickly, because we were starting to descend on our destination. In that moment I was able to look up knowing I wouldn't be caught for looking at her, seeing her packing up her tablet and the files she had been looking over into her bag. My eyes drank up everything she was doing, how fluid her motions were and precise. I knew I needed to start packing up as well, peeling my eyes away from her I began getting ready to exit the plane and go to work.


	3. Chapter 3: Park Bench Murders

**Chapter 3: Park Bench Murders**

I arrived on scene of the latest murder, once again awestruck by how young this girl appeared. While she was young in age, 27-years-old, she was dressed to look more like a teenager. 'How strange', I thought to myself. Why would the unsub want to take a female who is older but make them appear younger in age. With that thought I figured out the piece of this puzzle we were missing, and called Agent Hotchner immediately.

"I think the unsub had her friend or perhaps sister die in a brutal fashion in front of her when they were teenagers. However, now our unsub is in her mid to late 20's. That could be why the females are in that age range but dressed to look younger" I quickly explained the thought into the phone with Rossi and Reid looking at me. I could see they were processing my idea, and it appeared that they were slowly starting to agree with the thought.

"Harlow, get everyone back to the station we will go over what you guys found and what everyone else learned" with that he hung up.

When we were back at the station everyone seemed to agree with my thought on the unsub, that it was a female working out of the death of a friend or sister. The trigger could have been a number of things though… 'If our unsub was now in the age range of 25-35 what would be going on in her life' I thought to myself. Then it hit me, she would be graduating from college and her person that would have originally been there with her is no longer there. That was the trigger, and it has to be a friend not a sister.

After sharing this information, I passed it along to Garcia. What if her friend died the night of their high school graduation? Yes, that had to be it.

"Garcia search for any murders on a high school graduation night roughly 10-15 years ago." Hotchner said. "They probably had some trauma done to their neck."

"Got it sir, there was two. One 7 years ago, a Kimberly Jones and one 11 years ago, a Rachel Max."

"Were there any friends present or show up at the scene?"

"Oh, yes sir… An Alisha Wess was going to meet up with her friend Rachel Max at the park and came across her body. She was found trying to help her friend covered in her blood. Rachel Max had been stabbed many times but the fatal wound was a slash to the neck. I will send you all the full report" Garcia said.

"So we know what set her off, we need an address and to move immediately" Morgan said as he stood up looking over the file on his tablet.

"Good work Agent Harlow, lets go team" Hotchner said as he exited the room and began giving orders to some officers outside the room.

"Harlow and Morgan go to the back and wait for my signal to enter. Make sure she cannot escape." Hotchner then turned to the others, "Reid and Blake stay here and wait for my signal if we need you to come in behind us. Rossi and JJ, you will come with me and some officers and we will enter through the front. Let's go."

"You ready for this?" Morgan looked at me.

"This is what I live for" I smiled back with a cocky attitude. This really was what I was good at. All that mind game stuff was fun and all, but getting the killer was what I was good at. The rougher the better for me, it would allow me to shut off emotion and just let my basic nature take control. I would have to remember though that I was now surrounded by profilers that read people for a living and I was now one of them. I must keep myself in check.

We both heard from Hotch in our ear pieces that we were to move in. Nodding at each other, Morgan took the lead heading in. 'Typical alpha male' I thought to myself, 'always having to be in charge and in the lead.'

"Morgan, Harlow. She's headed your way!" I heard Hotch say into my ear just as I saw the unsub running towards us. She seemed to be slightly manic in her movements as she sprinted towards us. In those brief seconds I went from profiler to tactical fighter, she would not get away from me.

I started heading towards her to cut her off from the exit. Morgan saw what I was doing and allowed me to take the lead on it, backing me up if I needed it. I guess he assumed since it was just another female I would be alright in that moment. Although, I could tell he was watching my movements closely. Probably gauging his new team member… Wise choice.

Miss Alisha Wess ran right into me not even noticing I had tucked myself behind a corner where the family room met the kitchen within her house. 'Foolish mistake', I thought to myself. She attempted to get away from me and was able to bring her left elbow up to my nose drawing some blood but I had a hold of her right arm. In that moment after she decided to hit me I kicked her feet from under her and dropped her to the ground, climbing onto her back and subdued her.

"You okay there kid?" Morgan said to me with a hint of concern in his face.

I got Alisha Wess up and handed her off to an officer, then wiped the blood off of my face.

"I'm good. I can take a hit and I have had much worse than a bloody nose from an unsub." I said coldly, while walking away. 'Why was I just such a bitch… Morgan didn't deserve that.' Internally beginning to kick myself, I just kept walking out of the house.

"Agent Harlow you need to get that checked out" Hotcher said from behind me.

Without turning around, I kept walking, rolling my eyes to just myself. It was just a simple hit to the nose. "I will get right on it sir." I went straight out the door and to the EMT to have my nose checked and cleared in a matter of minutes.

"Are you alright?" Dr. Reid said from behind me as I was finishing up with the EMT.

"Yes, I am fine. It was just a small hit to the nose, drew a little bit of blood." I said quickly back as I turned around.

"Oh… Okay, I just wanted to make sure. Hotch wanted me to make sure you checked out alright and tell you we are heading out when you are done." He said and went to start walking away.

"Thank you… Sorry if I came off harsh. I will be right there."

"Okay, and you didn't… you were injured and I probably invaded your space." He simply put it and left.

'Terrific… well I ruined that too. Good Job Pax, pissed off another teammate.' Clearly, I needed to work on how I communicate with everyone on this team. Especially Spencer if I have any hope of being friends with him. Yeah, friends that's what I want.

Spencer's POV

I saw her leave the house with her face dripping blood and all I could think to myself is 'man, I hope she is alright.' I didn't even think of the rest of my team in that moment just her. It was a scary thought, that she could consume my mind so much.

"Reid, go make sure Agent Harlow is cleared to fly and then we will head out of here. JJ, Rossi, Morgan, and Blake, you can take the first SUV to the plane. We will meet you there." Agent Hotchner addressed the team surrounding him. "The case is closed, time to head home. Good work, everyone."

I walked over to Paxton, her back was to me as she was talking to an EMT. All I wanted was to know she was okay. When she addressed me so harshly I wasn't prepared, I thought she would be different. Guess that is what I get for assuming something. I just went to leave after finding out she was cleared to go. Something weird happened though, she stopped me and apologized. The look on her face was still cold, but her eyes told a different story… No, I wasn't going to get sucked in by some cheap apology. She was probably just afraid she hurt my feelings and stupid thing was she kind of did. I am just going to tell her she didn't come off any way and leave. I wasn't going to be so easily fooled, just because she is the most beautiful individual I have seen and now I have to work with her.

As I walked to the SUV all I could think to myself was that I wanted to get to know Paxton Harlow, and I wanted to be her friend…


	4. Chapter 4: New Workspace

Hi Readers,

I am so glad you are taking the time to read this story! I am trying to write one chapter a day, at least during the break I have. I am in Graduate school so time will become more strenuous later on but for now I am going to keep updating as quickly as possible. A little encouragement would be awesome and so appreciated if you are enjoying this story! If you have feedback do not hesitate to let me know!

Thank you!

 **Chapter 4: New Workspace**

Today when I went into work I knew I would need to let down some of these walls the problem is I really had no clue where to begin. Wanting to clear my head before work I headed to the company gym to get a quick workout. To my surprise Derek Morgan was already there, sparring with someone I didn't know. 'This might be a win-win for me', I thought. I could get a workout in, plus get to know Morgan a bit better in the process.

"Hey Agent Morgan, I got next round." I yelled towards him as I prepared myself.

He then called back, "if you really think you can take me."

'Typical alpha male, always thinking they are going to win.' I thought, shaking my head.

I got into the ring with Morgan and I could tell he was apprehensive about facing me. He didn't know my skill set and didn't want to go to hard on me. Well, I was not going to go easy on him. I had frustrations to work out and in the sparring ring was where I was going to do it.

"Best 2 out 3?" I questioned him.

"Sounds good to me."

I dropped Morgan quickly in the first round, pinning him to the floor and forcing him to tap out. That will teach him to underestimate me.

The next round we went equally matched for awhile until I got distracted thinking about the new surroundings. I started thinking about how I now worked with this team… no that wasn't the right word for it, they functioned more like a family. I was not used to that. I had been alone since I was 16 years-old, barely even had friends by my side anymore. Then there was Spencer Reid's face constantly popping up in my head. Why was his geeky personality something that I wanted to know so badly? All of a sudden, there went the match when I got knocked in the side, catching the air in my lungs. This allowed Morgan to make his final move and pin me. I hated to lose.

Final round, I wasn't going down without a serious fight. I could tell Morgan read it on my face by the look in his eyes mirroring my own now. He made the first move trying to do something similar to the last round but I was ready this time. I caught his hand, pinned it around his back and threw all my weight into pulling him down. In the process he took an elbow to the face and I received many bruises but successfully I got the win.

"Alright, I will hand it to you kid you have some skills. Some serious skills." Morgan chuckled as he rubbed his face where I clocked him with my elbow. "I am going to get cleaned up for work, I will see you in there. Thanks for being such a good match."

I was headed to my new workstation when Garcia stopped me, excited over finally having time to get to know me. Informing me that she has invited the team out for a celebratory "get to know the new member" drink night, and that since I was the guest of honor I must go.

"I can never turn a night out with new co-workers and drinks. It sounds great, thank you Garcia." I said back with a genuine smile. I really was happy to get to know the others in a more relaxed environment. My eyes drifted over to Reid, who was looking over a huge stack of paperwork and I couldn't help but bite my lip. Quickly regretting the action, looking back at Garcia her eyes were huge in an 'I know something way'. A blush started creeping over my face and I did not even bother to explain.

"My lips are sealed, mostly." Garcia squeaked as she left.

"Agent Hotchner, could I speak to you for a second?"

"Of course, come right in Agent Harlow and close the door."

"I just waited to apologize for any harsh behavior I may have demonstrated in the past few days. I am not used to working so closely with a team, as everyone here is and when you all show such concern." I paused, "Well, I just am not used to that sort of behavior or care for another."

"Paxton, I won't lie. I know your past from reading your file, however others on the team do not. I understand your actions because of this, whereas the rest will be very guarded if you continue to close them out so much. I suggest you ease into opening up more, even if it is only sharing bits and pieces. This team works so well because we are more family than anything else. We all will have your back; you just need to trust us." Agent Hotchner came across stern yet very sincere in his wording. "Also, I will see you later tonight. I expect you to sing at the karaoke, it is somewhat of a tradition." He said with a lighter tone as I went to stand.

"Thank you, I do appreciate it. I will work on being more transparent with the team, I am just not sure where to begin…" As I pondered that for a second and headed towards the door, I peeked my head back in to say "see you tonight, if I am singing so are you."

As I walked out to my car at the end of the work day all I could think about was trying to get Spencer's attention tonight and when I set my mind to something, I usually get it. Smirking to myself as I got into my car I thought tonight would be a great night.


	5. Chapter 5: Night Out

**Chapter 5: Night Out**

My phone rang, "Hi, Garcia. Yes, I am walking out right now. Thank you and Derek again for picking me up. I will be right down." I quickly looked back over myself in the mirror making sure that I looked casual yet sexy, just what I was going for. I made sure my lips were painted a deep burgundy and slipped on my black heeled booties. Tonight was going to go my way; I could feel it.

"Damn girl, you look good tonight." Morgan yelled into the backseat as I got in.

"Trying to impress someone?" Garcia said with a wink and a smirk.

"Nope, just trying to have a good night and not have to buy my own drinks. Are we going to go or not?" I giggled to the them.

We pulled up at this little hole in the wall bar that had a sign out front that said $3 doubles, and dance floor. Yes, this place would do nicely.

Making my way to the bar with Penelope and Derek, I eyed the bartender and stated my order "Whiskey and coke, please. Oh, and of course make it a double" with a wink.

Derek yelled to the same bartender to make it two, along with a cranberry and vodka, and to put it on his tab. See already not having to pay for a drink, this outfit would do me well. Now, if I can get the attention of a certain doctor…

After receiving my drink, I decided to scope out the surroundings and see what this little bar was made of. It had a simple stage, that behind it held the DJ booth and in front of all of that was a decent size dance floor that was already in full swing with people varying in age ranges swaying to the beat of the music. I continued my scan when I found where the rest of the team was seated, along the far wall from the entrance, but only feet away from the back end of the bar. Good choice. It appeared everyone was already here, and they just spotted us, waving for us to come join.

When we made our way over to the team, I saw numerous empty glasses around the table and huge grins surrounding my fellow workers. They clearly got the party started without me and I was going to need to catch up. "Paxton, so glad you finally got here. We were beginning to think you guys got lost along the way." Rossi laughed as he took another sip of what I guessed was scotch in his glass.

"Is that so? Well, I am here now, and I plan to enjoy the drink special to the full extent, enjoy that dance floor and drag a few of you with me." I said as my eyes slowly drifted towards Spencer. "Although," as I finished my first drink "I will want another whiskey and coke first."

"I got you Miss Harlow, I was just heading to get another scotch." Rossi said as he headed towards the bar, Alex quickly followed.

I took a seat next Penelope and JJ, hoping to get in on whatever conversation they were deeply involved in.

Spencer's POV

I knew as soon as Paxton walked into the room. It was as if my eyes were drawn to her and I could not get enough of her. Tonight, she looked spectacular to say the least. I barely could contain myself from standing up and going over to her instantly. How awkward would that be though, she barely knows me. Instead, I studied her. She was dressed in this burgundy flowy tank that had gold detailing at her chest, she wore basic black skinny jeans, and she had on boots with heels. It was odd seeing her taller. It wasn't as if her outfit screams for guys to stare at her, but almost everyone was. She had her hair straightened, allowing it to fall down her back, falling almost to her ass. To me she was by far the sexiest girl in the room. She didn't need some small skirt or a skin tight top to make her more attractive.

I found myself becoming jealous of the bartender in those brief seconds he had her attention, because it was more than I was receiving. I wanted her to wink at me with that knowing smirk on her face. It was nice to see her more relaxed than she had been at work. I have not known her long, but she always seems so guarded, like she never wants anyone to get too close to her.

She finally made it over to our table and now was my chance to talk to her. Before I could get a chance though Rossi stepped in. Next thing I know; she is looking directly at me in a flirtatious way talking about dancing. All too quickly the moment was gone and she was back to the rest of the team.

If dancing with her was what it would take, my two left feet and I would do it. I would get to know her more tonight. However, I need more to drink. Liquid courage, right?

Paxton's POV

I was now 4 double whiskey and coke's in and feeling fantastic. I looked over at Garcia who had just finished her third cranberry and vodka and she grinned over at me seeming to have the same thought I did. Dancing time.

I was definitely going to show a happier side of myself tonight and make sure my new team could see that I wasn't serious all the time. Garcia and JJ headed out to the dance floor with me to meet the already dancing Derek. Making our way through the latest hits, along with some good ole' 90's dance tunes. I had a few guys come up offering dances but none were the one I was interested in.

"Go ask him." Garcia whispered in my ear with an all knowing look in her eye.

"What if he says no?"

"He has been looking at you, he won't say no. Trust me." Garcia urged on.

Taking my slightly drunk self over to the table, I took a big gulp of someone's drink and next thing that came out of my mouth was either going to be super embarrassing or the best part of the night, "Spence, come dance with me."

"Ummm… I don't really dance, I have two left feet and I am really awkward." Spencer mumbled.

I couldn't hold back my look of disappointment as I went to go walk away, but a hand came down and grabbed mine.

"You didn't let me finish." He stated, "I guess I could try for you."

Biggest grin ever came across my face as he led me back out onto the dance floor. 3 songs in and Spencer hadn't stepped on my feet once. "You don't have two left feet. A bit uncoordinated but you dance good." I said with a wink.

Just as he was about to speak the DJ called final song, and it was a slow one. "Do you want to dance to this one, or no?" I asked just to make sure it was alright.

"Only if you are okay with it?" Spencer questioned awkwardly.

I took it as a good sign and wrapped my arms around his neck. As we swayed together to Ed Sheeran's cheesy romantic song, 'Thinking Out Loud', I looked over seeing Garcia and Morgan doing the same, along with Hotch and JJ, and Blake and Rossi. I thought to myself that this was a pretty amazing team I was now apart of; they all were so close. Too quickly though the song came to an end and the night was unfortunately over.

"Ready to leave little one?" Morgan walked over and asked.

"I can take her," Reid cut in "she is more on my way, I think." A blush slowly creped onto his face.

"Alright, pretty boy." Morgan said with a laugh, "I will see you two, tomorrow."

A questioning look came over my face as I turned to look at Spencer, "Thank you?"

"I looked at your address, you are actually 2.4 miles closer to me than Derek or Garcia." He stated.

"Okay, let's go then."

We pulled up outside of my apartment complex and I was shocked when I heard another door close. Spencer was walking me to my door?

"What are you doing?" I chuckled.

"I just wanted to make sure you got in safely. You know this isn't actually the safest part of the neighborhood, you should consider moving."

"I can take care of myself, you know." I said a bit harsher than I intended to.

"I'm sorry, you are right. Although, you have had a decent amount to drink and you are slightly unstable on your feet so it is still safer if I walk you to the main door at least."

"You win." I stated laughing. "You are right, I did have a little more to drink than I expected and I may not be walking perfectly at this point but I could still kick your ass."

"That is true. Absolutely true." He said with a sigh.

"Well, we are to my lobby. What now?" I looked up at him. He was still much taller than me even with heels.

Instead of responding to me though he just starred at me. I couldn't take the tension anymore and went to turn away. Letting out a sigh along with it. What was I really expecting…

Suddenly, just like at the bar Spencer grabbed my hand turning me back. That's when his lips met mine.


	6. Chapter 6: What Just Happened?

**Chapter 6: What just happened?**

Suddenly, just like at the bar Spencer grabbed my hand turning me back. That's when his lips met mine.

I knew I wanted this, but my mind started to overthink the situation. What was he doing, was this him or the two drinks he had? The soft touch of his lips turned into a more passionate, deeper pull. I needed to make a choice, do I continue this and risk messing up what we barely started or push him away and hope to begin a deeper connection… This was overwhelming and my lips were natural reacting to what they had waited since I had laid eyes on Spencer Reid.

I needed to control the situation. I pushed him back slightly and touched my lips, looking up at him. I tried to form words but before I could he took off.

Did I just make a huge mistake? Did he think I rejected him?

Shit, what did I just do.

Instead of going after Spencer I allowed him to go. It was better if we talked about this when I wasn't slightly drunk, I could explain myself better and I had to explain myself.

I woke up the next morning feeling my drinks and regret heavily. Why did I push Spencer away, I am such an idiot. I checked my phone, no missed messages so I jumped in the shower wishing to ease some of my inner pain. Once out of the shower, it was nearly 7:30 am and I needed to be to the office by 9. I decided to text Spencer, asking him to meet me at a coffee shop close to work. I would rather just get this over with now. If he was going to say that he regretted last night, or that he didn't mean to, might as well know now before work started. A simple response buzzed across my screen, 'Sure, be there in 15 minutes.' Better than a no, I guess.

I made it there in 10 minutes and just waited until I saw him walk in. The blood instantly rushed to my cheeks. I hadn't had this reaction to anyone in so long. How could I tell him about all the things that made me guarded? He would never accept me. I was damaged, broken and not worth how amazing and intelligent he was.

"Hey Spence." My eyes shyly looked up at him. "I'm glad you came, I wanted to explain why I pushed you away last night…"

Before I finished he cut in, "it was unprofessional and I read the situation incorrectly. It won't happen again. I am sorry."

"No, Spencer! That's not why I did it! You don't know me and I didn't want you to start anything before you even got to know me first. It isn't fair to you." I pleaded with him to listen.

He looked back at me for a second, then back down at the ground as if contemplating what I just said. "What do you mean?"

"Just that I want us to get to know each other before we are, well involved…" I paused, "it has been awhile since I have been with someone and I don't think it is right to be with you, someone who is so much more than I am. Especially, with you not even knowing anything about me." There was evident of pain in my voice.

"I can see the logic behind that. I'm sorry if I stepped over any boundaries with you." He said, clearly not getting that kissing me wasn't the issue here.

"Spencer" I said in a slightly hushed ton, trying to conceal my aggravation, "I am very attracted to you, even in this short amount of time. I want to get to know you better though. More importantly I want you to get to know me. This has nothing to do with kissing me, because I enjoyed it more than you could ever know. I am going to go now before I make a bigger ass out of myself. I will see you at work." With that I left, completely embarrassed for attempting how much I truly liked him and having no clue if he even felt anything for me back.

"Hey, why the long face?" Rossi asked.

"Just a bit hung over still that's all." Hoping he would take the lie a let it rest.

"Sure, whatever you say. Remember that you now work with a team that reads people everyday." Nope, he wasn't buying it. "But not just that, we also think of each other like family. I hope you will come to feel that way." With that he simply went back to reading the paperwork on his desk.

"Team, conference room. We have another case." Hotchner walked out of his office with JJ right behind.

Garcia was already waiting in the room for everyone with images of two females up on the screen. "Two females, one age 25 and the other age 28, found outside of two different local bars in the Chicago area. They were leaned up against the garbage can around the back alley, shown signs of a beatings with the fatal wound being a blow to the head. The medical examiner believes both women had their heads smashed forcefully against the ground to cause death." Garcia shuddered a bit.

"We have been called into help because they are concerned at the rate the bodies are turning up that there will be more. These bodies have been found within the past two nights, and we can only hope that there isn't another one tonight." Hotchner continued with, "we will be flying out in 30 minutes, grab your bags and let's go."

So far my plan of avoiding Spencer was working well, I didn't make eye contact with him at the office and I had carefully avoided him on the plane. This maybe easier than I thought, just push away the feelings and everything will be okay or at least that is what I would keep telling myself.

We arrived that afternoon at the police station and were able to get set up inside a separate office. We didn't have much to go on at this point and it was only a matter of hours before a new body could turn up.

"Alright team, it is almost night time and I know we are all tired but we do not have much information to go on with this unsub. I want everyone except Reid to go out and canvas the bars around the geographical area that Reid has started to map out. Go in pairs. Reid, continue to try to narrow down the area, if possible, and continue to look over the files. You are our fastest eyes." Hotchner explained quickly and began to break us up into pairs. He also told us to blend in to the crowds and try not to draw attention to ourselves.

I quickly headed back to my hotel room, slipped on some jeans with a band t-shirt and a leather jacket allowing me to conceal my weapon, 'just in case' I thought. I was teamed up with Morgan and we selected to go to the more popular nightclub/bar. Agent Hotchner pulled me aside, insisting I be extra vigilant considering I was in the age range that fit the description and that I could in fact become a target with us not being aware of how they were selected. I nodded in agreement. I understood the risk of going out, however this was more what I was trained to do.

Morgan and I entered the nightclub called Berlin. It was around 10 o'clock when the place started to get heavily populated and we decided splitting up to separate corners might be best. While we did not want the other one to be left unprotected, there is no way we could watch everything from the same area we were standing in. I told Morgan that we both have cellphones and can stay within seeing distance, and with that we agreed.

Near 11:30 something caught my eye, it was a young girl near my age walking near the back exit with a male that hand a tight hand on her back. I quickly rang Morgan while trying to get his attention, no such luck though. I left a message stating where I was going, and went to follow the suspicious couple.

Once I got out the door I hung back a bit to see what was going on. It made me a bit queasy but it wasn't anything violent, more sexual. 'I did not need to see that' is all I could keep thinking as they kept playing tonsil hockey and he dragged his hand up and down her body. Definitely not the unsub.

Turning around to go back inside, I realized that this is exit didn't have a handle that would allow me back in. Great time to walk all the way back around to the front.

As I started to walk, I got the sense something or someone was behind me. I quickly turned around but nothing besides the make-out couple was still way down at the other end going at it. 'Must be losing my edge', I thought and kept going but couldn't shake that hair standing on edge feeling. I wiped around one more time and got clocked square in the jaw knocking me to the ground. When I regained myself, I looked up and it was my shady that was just all over the girl from the club. She was now laying, what I hope, was unconscious on the ground. He kicked his left foot into my rib cage and I let out a gush of wind. Now, I was pissed. I turned over and grabbed my gun out of my holster. "FBI!" I yelled.

When he came at me again, I shot his right shoulder hoping to stop him. He momentarily stopped, stunned that I shot him and then charged at me. I was not expecting him to come at me so quickly and he was able to grab my gun throwing it, then landed a punch to my face.

That was the last hit he got in on me because another shot rang out from Derek Morgan's gun. The unsub slumped onto my body, checking his pulse I called out to Derek that he was gone and to go check the victim.

5 stitches across my left eyebrow and two bruised ribs later I was back at my hotel room. Hotch said that we would fly out tomorrow around noon after clearing the events of last night, I appreciated the time to rest.

I had just got out of my shower when I heard a knock on my door. Not having time to put on much clothing I quickly threw on a pair of shorts and a tank. Standing there, looking nervous for some reason was none other than Spencer Reid. My heart couldn't help but flutter.

"I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay…" Spencer looked down as his foot while saying.

"Umm, yeah I am. Just a little sore, nothing I haven't had happen before." He looked a little disappointed by my playing it cool answer.

"Look Paxton, you… you worried me. When I heard that they needed two ambulances and that one was for an FBI agent" He paused and looked into my eyes "I knew it had to be for you and I couldn't stop myself from freaking out. You had told me how you were feeling when we got coffee and I just sat there like an idiot. I didn't even bother to tell you that I liked you." He quickly stammered out.

"Did you just say you like me?"

Scratching the back of his head and then fixing his glasses nervously, "yes?"

I couldn't help myself at that point I pulled him into a kiss and to my surprise he responded with a fever that I would have never expected to come from shy Dr. Reid.


	7. Chapter 7: A Fever

Hi Readers-

This chapter will unfortunately be a little shorter, I have been flying all day and am rather wore out but I promise to update again tomorrow. This chapter will be all from Spencer's POV, so something a little different. Please if you are enjoying, let me know and if you aren't let me know too!

Thank you! Y'all are awesome!

 **Chapter 7: A Fever**

The fever Dr. Reid was presenting within that kiss wasn't going to be squashed simply. After the past day's events all he could think about was that moment and to hell with the consequences. To hell with not knowing each other enough, he would get to know her because he had to be around her. She was like a magnetic pull for him, and he couldn't deal with ignoring it.

Before I knew it I had Paxton pushed up against the wall, closing the door behind me. It was if animal instinct was taking over and all I wanted was to possess her. My hands were now gripping her hips as kissed her down to her neck. I began to gain my thoughts… maybe I should rethink this, then I heard a small moan escape her and all common sense was lost. I nipped just behind her ear and started to move my hands up under her shirt, ever so slowly as if asking for permission. When her hands went down the outside of my shirt along my back and then grabbing the hem pulling it off. Permission clearly granted. I continued with moving my hands up her shirt, until I pulled it off of her head. What I wasn't expecting was for her to stop kissing my neck and push me onto the bed.

I froze for three reasons, firstly the quickest and most obvious was she completely threw me off, secondly I looked at her taking in her beauty, not just because she was now standing there topless but she seemed so raw and regal. Lastly, and most shocking were the markings and scars that marred her beautiful body. All along her there were little scars, some deeper or longer but imperfections where she had been hurt but it had been hidden to others.

She saw me now appraising the marks I could see and became, what was it in her face nervousness? "What's wrong? Come here please…" I asked her.

"I can see it on your face, my scars disgust you…" She whispered. A tear falling from her eye at that point. "Please just go. This was a mistake."

"You most certainly do not disgust me. I was more looking over your beauty and thinking how much your past must add to it. Those scars have nothing to do with how strikingly gorgeous you are." I stated with more conviction that I have had in a while.

I saw her contemplate what to do, and I decided to make the choice for her. In that moment, I grabbed her pulling her to the bed and on top of me. Her skin burned mine where it made contact and I craved for our bodies to become one. "Please, don't ever say you are disgusting. You are stunning." I whispered into her ear as I trailed kisses down her body. She reacted by kissing me back, the mood returning, the need outweighing the inner battle of right versus wrong.

"All I want is you. To know you. For you to want me." I stammered out as she kissed down my chest.

Passion outweighed thought and pants were quickly on the floor. Chemistry could only be denied for so long.

A moan came from deep with in Paxton and a calling out of Spencer's name as she became close to her climax, her walls tightened. Spencer was near himself, "Paxton, all I want is you." He growled out, hitting his peak at the same time as Paxton.

Not wanting to hurt her, or pressure her he moved to the side to look at her. He gauged her emotions by looking into her grey eyes. A world of emotions swam before him from guilt to lust to something he couldn't really explain. "Do you want me to leave?" I said as I began sitting up.

"No, please don't… I don't want to be alone. Not right now."

That was all she said as she reached out for him and fell asleep on his chest.

He couldn't help but be incredibly curious about this amazing woman before him and so he did something he would probably regret.

"Hey Garcia, could you do me a favor? Please get me some more information on Agent Paxton Harlow…. Do not tell anyone."


	8. Chapter 8: Good Intentions

**Chapter 8: Good Intentions**

"Reid, I am not sure that is a good idea." Garcia said back.

"Please, I just need something. Anything about her." He pleaded into the phone.

Paxton began to stir in her sleep.

"I have to go but please Garcia do this for me" and with that Spencer hung up the phone and went back to sleeping next to Agent Harlow.

The morning went by in a blur. I awoke to Spencer's arm draped over me and looked at his resting face, he really was something truly amazing. The moment was gone all too fast though. He woke up realizing he was still in my room and needed to get back to his and get his things. The team was supposed to meet up in the lobby in less than an hour to head back home. Awkwardly, he said goodbye and blotted for the door. I was left laying naked in the sheets, wondering what it would take for this man to become mine and would I be willing to do it?

We made it back to Quantico with no interaction between us. He was constantly checking his phone for updates, it appeared. It was strange behavior for him, I thought to myself. When we landed Hotch asked us all to head back to the office that he needed to discuss something with 'some' agents and then go from there. I gulped back, this couldn't be good. I immediately began raking my brain on how he could possible know what Spencer and I did last night.

To my surprise I was not the agent called into question, at least not yet. It was Garcia… what the hell was going on. I looked over at Dr. Reid who was now fidgeting in his chair and avoiding eye contact. Shit. What was happening?

(In Hotchner's Office)

"Agent Garcia, it has been brought to my attention that you have pulled some files on another Agent. Agent Paxton Harlow, to be exact. Could you tell me why" Agent Hotchner stated with no sign of emotion.

"Yes sir, I pulled some files but not to snoop per say but just to have." Garcia became nervous and added, "is there a problem? I haven't been brought in before for having any of the agent's files?"

"Agent Garcia, some of Agent Harlow's files are sensitive to say the least and it is highly possible that from poking into them, they could have been flagged…" Agent Hotchner paused for a second before continuing, "Agent Paxton has something's that if someone goes looking for them and they get a hit on, it could become very dangerous Ms. Garcia. It is imperative that if you must have a file for some unknown reason you address me first, or simply ask her. I do need you to check back through the information you did gather and see if you tripped anything, Understood?"

"Yes sir, sorry sir" was all Garcia could come up with. What few things she had found she would look over and see if she could have possibly done anything to cause harm to Paxton. She wanted to help Reid but not at the cost of Paxton or anyone else's safety.

"You are free to go, please send in Agent Harlow." Hotchner said with a once again blank face.

"Agent Harlow, please take a seat. I need to inform you of something's that have recently taken place."

I sat down, slightly nervous and unable to get a read as to how Hotch was feeling towards the tone of his voice.

"Agent, unfortunately Ms. Garcia was doing a 'routine' gathering of information on her new teammate unaware of some of the sensitive files that were out there. I am unsure if those files, at this point, were accessed. Please be advised that it may have happened, Garcia is looking into it now. I am sorry that your privacy was overstepped, this does fall on me considering I do supervisor her." At this point Hotch started to look almost sad…

"Agent Hotchner, it's alright. I knew the at least one of the team members would get antsy to know more. I just wish that they would have came to me with questions rather than looking into my past by way of files." I paused, "I also am worried about what they may dig up that even I wish I could forget… but I guess that cannot be avoid if something was tripped."

"Agent Harlow, you do not have to share anything you are not ready to share but if it does effect your safety or the teams, you will need to share something's. I am sorry, you can head out now." Hotch truly did look apologetic.

I didn't know if I was pissed at Penelope or slightly thankful at the push to share things, but when I walked out of the office and didn't see Dr. Reid I started to become suspicious.

I walked towards Garcia's office to ask her what she accessed exactly, and that is when I heard hushed voices. My gut instinct was right, something was up. I stayed outside of the door, listening to what Reid and Garcia were talking about.

"Reid, I can't give you what I found on her."

"Why Garcia? You already have it and it isn't like you can take back what you have done." Reid pleaded.

"Doll, its clearly not good news if Hotch doesn't want it out. Just ask her about it instead. Please."

I couldn't take hearing it anymore, how dare they go behind my back instead of asking simply because they wanted to know. I thought we were getting somewhere, but instead they just didn't trust me and want to let me in.

"Thanks Agent Garcia, I thought we were actually becoming trust co-workers… maybe even friends. Going behind my back to look up dirt on me to pass it off to another worker, that's low." I said bitterly and turned to face Spencer, "And you Dr. Reid, I actually bought the 'whole I care about you bullshit' but it was really just so you could find out about me and pass it along to the rest of the team, right? That's low." The look of betrayal couldn't be hidden from my eyes as I looked over Dr. Reid. "You both disgust me. How can you expect someone to join your team and trust you, when you go prying into their lives?" With that I simply left, tears forming in my eyes.

"What have I done Garcia?" Spencer whispered sadly. "I just wanted to know her better."

"I know cupcake, I know."

(Later that night)

I was at a bar close by my house when a call came in from Agent Hotchner.

"Agent Harlow speaking"

"Agent, bad news. It seems Ms. Garcia may have triggered something with one file. She says that a code was sent to a server but she is unable to locate it. We can't know for sure if there is any real threat but keep on the look out. Once again, I am sorry." Then the line was dead.

I sat there and ordered another whiskey and coke, wishing that this whole mess never happened. Why was it so difficult to outrun your past? It's been almost 10 years since this mess went done and I was set on this track. I lost my parents, turned my back on what little family I had and became a ghost until the government got wind of my expertise in tactical skills, no one really knew who I was. Why did people need to start now?


	9. Chapter 9: Trust and Mistrust

**Readers:**

I am so sorry for not updating daily as I intended to do. Not going to lie let myself down a little here. I plan on trying to stick to my plan and update daily. I really hope you guys are enjoying the story. As always please show some love.

Thank you!

 **Chapter 9: Trust and Mistrust**

It's been one week since the mishap with Garcia and Reid looking into my past. I have been giving them the cold shoulder… I mean I know they are sorry. They have apologized in many different ways, texts, calls, face-to-face and gifts but it just isn't enough. I just don't know how to get past something of this nature, not when I thought they were my friends.

Luckily, nothing suspicious has occurred from Garcia looking into my past and the rest of the team is not aware of the situation, but I know I have to start explaining. Just how do you tell people that you were part of basically the mob after your parents were murdered… That's why most nights I have been drowning my sorrows by the bar next to my apartment. It's becoming a nasty habit of mine to go and try to forget.

Forget about my dark past, the things I did and the things that were done to me. Horrible times. Then there are the more beautiful things, like the night spent with Dr. Reid… he was so amazing. The need and want that burned within his eyes, but to be betrayed. It is something so commonly done, to be used for information. I should have seen it coming.

"Alright, Pax. You can't keep doing this every night." Morgan came and sat next to me at the bar. "I don't know what the hell is going on with you this past week but this has got to let up… I am worried about you"

I knew Morgan was right, but the buzz of the alcohol felt better than knowing that Spencer didn't just want to know me. He rather go look up the data, go digging into my past. "Nothing is up, this is me." I snapped back.

"Man, Paxton. I thought we were past this cold front. Seriously…" Morgan dragged his hand across his face while shaking his head. "I get trust is an issue for you, I am right there with you. But you gotta understand that no one on this team is going to hurt you. Not me and not anyone else. Now tell me what is up?"

I gave a snarky laugh, "no one on the team is going to hurt me? Really, because two of them already tried poking into my past by going through confidential files and not just asking me."

"What do you mean they went into files? Isn't that why you guys have been so weird around each other, baby girl, the kid and you? Shit… well, in their defense you aren't the easiest to know, but on the other hand they shouldn't have ever done that." Morgan looked conflicted. "I know it isn't my business to save what you should do, but I would recommend giving them a chance, they only had the best intentions, I am sure."

"It doesn't matter the intention; it is a trust issue. I just don't know how to let it go Morgan." I sighed and looked down at my empty glass.

Morgan walked me back to my apartment, and told me he would see me tomorrow. I had to attempt that I appreciated him getting me out of the bar before I drank to much for the sixth night in a row.

I got in the shower wishing to sober myself up and think about what Morgan said to me. The only thing that I could think of was Spencer and the way he looked at me. I wish that I could simply go back to that night and freeze it there. By the time I exited the shower I knew I had to text Spencer, only issue was I had no idea what I was going to say to him.

Nervously, I sent a text to Spencer… then realized it was 2am. I really am spiraling. However, 15 minutes later I heard a knock on my door and there stood none other than awkward Reid.

"Can I come in?" He said standing in my doorway.

"You do know it is like 2:30 in the morning, right?" I stood there messily with a mop of wet hair tied on top of my head, in sweats and a tank. "Come in… we need to talk."

I brewed us some tea and asked him to sit on my couch, "Umm… I am not sure where I should start, what do you know?"

"I know your parents were murdered, I know you were wandering the streets with no one, I know you were taken 'in' by a bad group unable to escape until the FBI got wind of some of your fighting abilities. You had no connections so you were easy to erase, to train, and to bring in at a young age. While I read some of the details, I didn't need to… I just wanted to know you Paxton." Spencer turned on the couch to face me and took my hands, "I know you don't trust easily, I can see that. I am sorry I broke that. It wasn't what I wanted, I just had to know more about you."

"In my life I never had anything stable, I never had anyone to trust. When I became a part of this team and how much all of you guys loved, cared and trusted each other. I wanted to be a part of it, I just didn't know how. Spencer, you more than anyone I wanted to be close to. When you went behind my back a looked at files about me, it made me feel as though I couldn't trust you. Or even perhaps you didn't trust me." My thoughts started to blur together and I felt as though I was repeating myself. "I am sorry. I should have spoken to you sooner and forgiven you, or just told you about me." I hung my head.

Spencer lifted my chin, "beautiful girl, there is nothing to be sorry for." Looking into my eyes, I could tell Spencer questioned whether it was okay for him to make a move.

Slowly his head tilted in towards my lips, I closed the distance and sunk into a passion filled kiss.


	10. Chapter 10: Part of a Team

**Chapter 10: Apart of a Team**

"Pax, you need to let the team in… at least a little." Reid urged before leaving my apartment that morning after we spent the night getting to know a bit better. We didn't have sex, I told him that while I enjoyed his company I thought it better if we didn't jump ahead of ourselves again. "I know it will be hard but you did let me back in." He joked as we bumped around the kitchen making breakfast.

"I know you are right, but what if somehow it changes how someone looks at me? I mean Rossi looks at me like some badass who can fight well, not some hooligan who was a street criminal." I said pouring both of us coffee.

"That's ridiculous and you know it" Spencer said, calling me out on my comp out response. It felt as if we had known each other much longer than just over a month. We functioned so well almost as if we could read each others next actions. "Just trust in your team, Paxton. They will accept you."

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work? Won't someone notice you going in with the same clothes on?"

"Nice change of subject, and I have a cardigan in my bag. Go get ready, I will clean up." Reid said with a grin on his face. That grin could make me do anything, I thought to myself.

As I walked toward my room my phone started to ring and so did Spencer's, we awkwardly looked at each other. I decided it was best to just close my door, then answer.

"Agent Harlow speaking"

"We have a case, Hotch would like you to the office as soon as possible. Also, I asked to call you so I could apologies again." Garcia quickly added at the end.

"Penelope, I am sorry I have been so hard on you. I forgive you, and I will talk to you when I get to the office more about it, okay?" She happily agreed. "Where is the case at?"

"Here, it isn't good Pax. I will see you when you get here." Garcia hung up.

I quickly threw on some clothes and headed out the room, "Spencer, are you ready to go?" 'Yikes' was all I could think; he was still on the phone. I really hope who ever called him did not just here me. He just nodded back and we were off, traveling in separate cars. No need in spreading rumors about something that wasn't true, despite how much I may want it.

"Alright, now that everyone is here we can get started. Five bodies have been found in the past two days and this morning, local authorities are asking for our assistance. All victims have been female, red hair, and ages 20-30..." Agent Hotchner looked up and made eye contact with me. My stomach hit the floor, this was what I had been worried about. "The killings take place one in the morning and one at night, it is likely this pattern will continue. All killings have been done execution style."

"This is my fault, isn't it?" I asked out, but it was more for the benefit of myself.

"Agent, this is not your fault. However, if you know anything you would like to share in helping solve this case…please." Hotch was allowing me to choose right now if I was going to tell everyone or if he was.

I nodded towards him, "I'm sorry everyone. Something from my past had been dug into and it alerted some very awful individuals. I am going to guess one in particular…" I got lost in my thoughts, shaking my head, "Anyways, when I was younger my parents were murdered and I was left on my own. I had no where to go, I became homeless and lost. I wandered into a bad group of people who took me in. I didn't realize at the time but they were going to use me to hurt others. They trained me, brainwashed me, and I became a ghost. The FBI got ahold of me when I was 20, and proved me with an out. I took it. The FBI offered me a job, and away to erase my past… I had hoped it wouldn't catch up with me."

"Harlow, you said you may know one individual in particular that maybe doing this. Who?" Hotchner asked, while the others just stared at me.

"His name is Carlos Mann." That was all I could manage to say, even though the truth was Carlos always had a thing for me. I never allowed him near me, but he always had a claim on me he would say. A chill went up my spine, I can't imagine what he would do if he got ahold of me.

"Garcia, go see what you can find on Carlos Mann. Paxton, go with Garcia and help track where he might go with what she finds. Reid, start setting up a geographical map, let's see if we can narrow down where he has been hunting. Morgan and JJ, go look over the bodies and see if you can see any other identifying markers that we may have missed. Rossi, Blake and I will go look over each crime scene."

"Paxton, I am so sorry I poked into your past. I had no idea that this is what you were hiding." Garcia had a sad puppy dog look on her face.

"It's really okay, the team needed to know. I just wish that you would have asked instead, this is awful what is happening." I shuttered a little.

"You don't think he will come after you do you?" Garcia questioned hesitantly.

"I really hope he doesn't, but something tells me he will."


	11. Chapter 11: Can't Outrun the Past

**Readers:**

You guys are fantastic, so happy you continue to follow the story. Please share your thoughts if you have time. Show some love if you want. It really is appreciated!

Thank you all so much!

 **Chapter 11: Can't Outrun the Past**

"It looks like Carlos Mann booked a one-way flight from Detroit, Michigan 4 days ago here. Before then he had been in and out of jail for the past 5 years on petty crime, some assault charges and drug possession it looks like. His place of residency isn't listed, that's odd…" Garcia typed quickly, trying to dig for more information.

"No, he wouldn't let himself be listed under an address. Staying on the run is what he would want. No way to track him. The address you do manage to find will most likely be from his childhood" I said thinking back to his and mine conversations on how to stay undetected. "He always drilled into my head to remain off the grid as much as possible. Never let people know you."

"Awe, honey. I am sorry you are having to think about the past in this way." Garcia looked back at where I was standing with a sad face. I continued to play with her knickknacks to keep myself distracted. "I think you should mention something to Hotch about Carlos coming after you, Pax… please don't get mad at me for suggesting that."

"I don't know if it is necessary or if it would even help."

"But short stuff, I think all of us would feel better if we tried to keep you safe." I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was concerned.

"I'll mention something, but I don't think it is that important." I gave her a smile, "I am going to go give them what information you found back in the pen, let me know if you find anything else."

"Hey Hotch, are y'all headed back to the office yet?" I said into the phone.

"Yes, we are finishing up at the last crime scene now" they were at an abandoned warehouse.

"Okay, Garcia was able to find some information, but not much. I did not expect her to. Also, she is concerned with me being alone when I leave at night… I told her not to worry." I quickly added.

"The others and I were discussing that as well, we will discuss which team member you should stay with tonight when we are all there together." He hung up the phone and I let out a very long sigh. Great, now I will have a damn babysitter.

I headed to go see how Spencer was coming along with the map, "how does it look so far? Anything to go on?"

"Honestly, the locations seem to be opportunistic. An abandoned warehouse, an abandoned house, the victim's car, a parking lot and a bus stop. I put pins on the locations but they don't seem to make much of a pattern." Reid stared ahead puzzled.

"They are locations we would usually be at, as people on the run…" I whispered to myself. "I think I have idea of what he is trying to say. He is showing places where someone on the run or living on the streets would go. Abandoned locations, perhaps these others allowed him into their place or gave him a ride somewhere and a bus stop for travel."

"That makes perfect sense, but where would tonight's location be?"

"I have no idea." As I looked forward trying to think of places form me would go and quickly.

The rest of the team was now present and we were trying to come up with anyway to track where Carlos would be going based on the current pattern. "We will continue to work for a few more hours but we need to realize that we may not figure this out tonight team and with that issue we will have maybe two bodies by morning. Another thing we need to figure out is for Harlow's safety I would like her to stay with another agent tonight, does anyone volunteer?" Hotchner tried to ease the tension within the room.

"She can stay with me, I am the closest to her apartment, so if she does need to go home she can." Spencer spoke up with a logic based suggestion, but the hint of a blush rested on his cheeks.

"Alright then, for tonight Harlow you will stay at Reid's." Welp, maybe being babysat wouldn't be too bad.


	12. Chapter 12: Can't Outrun the Past (2)

**Readers:**

It's okay, I am mad at me too. I said I would write and here I am slacking again. Case of writer's block, mixed with New Year celebrations and now traveling for the next day or so. Any who, sorry I was on the struggle bus. I will try to do better. Show some love.

Happy New Year's All.

Thank you!

 **Chapter 12: Can't Outrun the Past (Cont.)**

"Guys, it's going on 11pm and there still isn't a body. What if it hasn't been found yet or his timing has changed? I stared ahead while sipping on my coffee. Worn out from the long day. It was discussed that we would all go home at our usual times, but we wanted to make sure that if there was something reported that we would all be here ready. Now, it seems like we were all wrong.

"You might be right, Harlow." Hotchner looked over his exhausted team, debating on if he should send everyone home for a few hours or not. "Alright, head home and get some sleep. I expect everyone to be back here by 8."

"Ready to go Spence?" I caught Spencer by the arm, making him look at me with huge, questioning eyes.

"Umm, what do you mean…Oh, right you are staying with me. Sorry, it has been a long day and it slipped my mind for a second. Strange." He became lost for a moment. "Do you need to get anything from your place first?"

"Yes, I am dying for some comfy pajamas and will definitely need different clothes for tomorrow." I said as I looked down at what I was currently wearing, which was now a wrinkled grey pant suit. "And a shower, a shower would be heavenly right about now."

"Clothes we will get from your place; shower you can take at mine." He said with an odd authority behind his voice. It was honestly pretty sexy.

We made it outside my apartment quickly, not bad traffic at 11:30 at night on a Wednesday. "Okay, I am just going to run up and grab my stuff. I will be back in roughly 10 minutes." Before Spencer could object, I hopped out of the care, threw him a smile and started running into the building.

When I got to my apartment door it was cracked open and by no means was I surprised. I knew Carlos would come here. That is precisely why Spencer is downstairs and I am up here. I pulled out my gun and crept into the main room, but something told me he wasn't here anymore. I flipped on the light to the kitchen that connected to the main room. There laid a red rose, and a note.

My daring girl-

How foolish you have been to hide from me. I will always find you. You are mine.

Chills ran down my back, this is what he wanted though. He wanted me to be afraid, to know he was hunting me, stalking me and just wanting for the right moment.

I took a photo of the set up and sent a group message to the team, best if they know… team player I would be. I sent along with it though that there was 'no need to worry, he was not still here'. After that I went a quickly gathered my things, I knew Reid would be freaking out if I took any longer. Especially with me just sending that group message. The last thing I did was grabbed a plastic bag and packaged the note along with the rose. Maybe we would be able to figure else something more from this.

When I got down to the car I was greeted with a very pissed off face. "What the hell, Pax?"

"Sorry?" All I could muster was a shrug and a smirk. "I knew there was a chance that he could have came to my place and there was no reason to put you at that kind of risk."

"That is precisely the point of you being with me tonight." He looked dumbfounded at that point.

"Can we please just get to your place? I really am sorry; I just didn't want you to be at risk of getting hurt…"

"I am not happy, Paxton. You are part of a team, friends with us. We care about you. Start realizing that." With that Spencer put the car in drive.


	13. Chapter 13: Can't Outrun The Past (3)

**Chapter 13: Can't Outrun the Past (Cont.)**

Spencer and I argued for a solid 20 minutes about who was going to sleep on the couch versus his bed until I finally just gave up because I was exhausted. "Look, I just want sleep. I don't care where I sleep, just as long as I sleep."

I felt jittery, so I decided to ask Spencer if I could shower before he did. I hoped this would calm me a bit and remove some of the tension I was feeling. I was grateful that I remembered my Bluetooth speaker because I enjoyed listening to music while I showered. I grabbed my night clothes and the speaker, and headed into the bathroom. I didn't bother to lock the door, if Spencer needed something out of here, or needed to talk to me, I probably couldn't hear him over the music if he didn't come in. 'Stop overthinking and just get in the damn shower', I told myself… I hated being away from my place and my routine. I felt awkward and out of place.

I hit play on my playlist and hopped in the shower. The water was on a very steamy hot, and I put the showerhead on a pulsating setting, allowing the warmth to hit my back. Trying to relax, I found myself slowly beginning to hum to my music. I often would sing when I was alone, but around others not so much. The song Hallelujah came on (version by Kate Voegele) and I found myself deep in thought of the past, singing along to the lyrics.

"And love is not a victory march, It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah" I continued to sing, not hearing the knock on the door or Reid's mumble about needing something. "The holy dove was moving too, And every breath we drew was Hallelujah" I sang while turning to face the water, and was caught off guard when I could make a figure out of the steamed glass shower door. I immediately stopped singing, and peered my head out of the door. While I knew it was Spencer I was surprised he actually came in.

"Reid?" I asked, dumbfounded when I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt.

He turned, first looking at my face taking in the wet hair hanging down…following that to what lay behind the steamed glass door wishing he could make it out. A blush rose to his cheeks, "Sorry, I was just going to grab my toothbrush and a few other things. I tried to tell you before coming in, but your music must have prevented you from hearing me. That and your singing…"

"I will try to keep it done, and I am also almost done in here." I thought crossed my mind and I knew it was probably a bad idea but… "Actually, if you want I can just let you get in here now." I began to open the door further and grabbed my towel hanging close by. "There, water is still hot for you."

"I…umm..." was all Spencer could get out, while appraising my appearance in front of him.

"Something wrong?" It was as if I had to know if he had any feelings for me after everything that had happened over the past few days. I had felt lonelier than I ever had in my life, which was odd. Standing with him in front of me felt more right than anything. With this notion I took it a step further and walked even closer to him, looking up at him and undid his pants. "Let me help you. Don't want the water to go to waste."

That was all it took for him to bring his lips crashing to mine. His hands became intertwined in my hair, and my hands dug into his back.

"I believe you forgot some shampoo in your hair." He slyly said as he pulled me toward to shower.

20 minutes later, the water had run cold and I was preparing myself for bed. Exhaustion was taking me over, but my thoughts were pulling two different ways. One, was the feelings I had for Spencer Reid were growing quickly and I had no idea what to do with them. Two, Carlos Mann was coming for me and there was no way I was letting him near my team, but I wasn't sure I could outrun him either. In that moment I made a decision, I would face my past head on.

Carlos Mann and I would have a reunion, only one of us would walk away from…


	14. Chapter 14: Reunion

**Chapter 14: Reunion Day**

I had made the decision that I would leave Reid's apartment before he woke up, it currently was 1:30 am and we had to be back at 8:00 am to the office. I had to get at least 2 hours of sleep in order to execute the plan I had on taking out Carlos, but I also had to avoid alerting Spencer to my leaving. This was going to take a lot of luck.

I awoke at 4:00 am, I grabbed my already packed bag and began to make my way towards the door. Reid was sleeping awkwardly on the couch, his legs scrunched up at the end because he was much to tall for it. 'A cute sight to see before going to what possibly could be my death' I thought.

With determination I walked out of the door. I knew Carlos would find me no matter where I went, but when I was first on the streets I adored being on the playground. Just sitting on a swing, pondering life, so that is where I would go now.

I sat on the swing set for less than a hour before a figure came up beside me. I knew who it was without even turning, his aurora was drench with negative energy.

With a deep voice that sent chills down my back, he said "I knew you would not stay away. You are pulled to me. Destined to be with me." And maybe in some retched ways we were. Pulled like a moth to a flame, I knew I had to face him and he knew where to find me.

"That is not what this is. I am not here to be yours, Carlos. I am here to put an end to this." Trying to sound as strong as I could. In that moment, I was nothing more than a teenager again though, looking for a place to belong and him being the one who took me in. No matter the poor situation I was in.

"Really? You and who else? You know damn well that you are no fight compared to me. You never have been." He moved closer taking both of my forearms.

He was strong, but I had learned how to use my slenderness to my advantage over the years. Always being mistaken as weaker came in handy. I was able to throw my weight to one side, catching him off guard and bring my knee to his face, catching his nose perfectly. It wasn't enough though. He caught me by the neck now and brought a syringe out of his pocket sticking it into my neck. The next few seconds passed in a slow haze as I tried to fight whatever dope he injected into my system. It was no use though…I quickly lost all consciousness.

My last thoughts consisted off Spencer, that I was able to spend one final night with him even if we weren't together as I had wanted. It was enough. I left him a note, the team and especially him would have closure. This was going to be okay.


	15. Chapter 15: Awaken

Readers:

Thank you for sticking with me. I am so sorry for the wait.

Enjoy.

 **Chapter 15: Awaken**

I woke up groggy and unaware of my surroundings. Slowly, I remembered that Carlos bested me by drugging me. I needed to figure out where I was being held, what I could do, and what means of weapons I had.

I was in a small room, handcuffs on my wrist and attached to the wall by a chain. He clearly planned this. There was just a single dim light, a bottle of water and the door about 6 feet away from me. Locked undoubtedly but regardless at this point it doesn't matter because I can't reach it. My thoughts for finding a weapon were slim, besides for the cuffs and chains that attached them to the wall there was nothing that could be used. Perhaps, the light bulb if I could get to it but even that was unlikely. My situation was looking grimmer.

I lost track of time. I could have been in this bland room for minutes or hours, and never would have been able to tell the difference. No hint of day or night and no sign of Carlos making an appearance. To distract myself I began to hum, mindlessly "A Drop in the Ocean" while my thoughts drifted to Spencer. Surely, he must know I have gone by now. What was he thinking? Panicked? Looking for me? Has he called the team… The team. How I already regretted my choices, but shook off that because I knew if I didn't go I risked them beginning injured in the process of Carlos getting to me.

What is time? Real, or imagination? Right now, I was not sure. I knew I was hungry, that half the day must have passed but really that could be just my mind playing games on my body. I had tried sliding the cuffs off of my wrist for what seemed to be hours and blood was no dried around the cuts along my arms. I had yanked, tugged and pulled on the chains until my muscles screamed. Nothing worked, nothing budged. A two new plans were starting to form and I was unsure which one I was going to go through with. Either could end in death, one purposefully and the other was unpredictable, but could end in me escaping if I was lucky.

I kept playing the choices in my mind, give up and give into whatever sickness Carlos desired. This plan would end in my death; I was almost entirely sure of it. My other plan was to try and beat him at his own game. I would play into his desires until he was close enough, allowed me some bits of freedom for his own pleasure and try to escape when that occurred. Again, this plan being the unpredictable one but escape could happen. Death however loomed over me in either situation, either plan held a stench of uncertainty.

A fleeting hope slipped into my mind, Spencer looking for me. As much as I desired this, it was a horrible solution, Carlos could easily kill him and the team. No, I still needed to end this on my own. Whatever way I possibly could.

I would kill him. I just wasn't sure I would survive it, the determination, desire and sickness I saw in Carlos's eyes entered my thoughts the same moment the door finally opened.


End file.
